life as an au pair / nanny … is it for you?

I am now half way through my year as a nanny looking after three french kiddie winks.

It’s a bizarre concept really. Usually the french home is very private. You wouldn’t just ‘pop around’ for a drink or turn up unexpected like we often do back home. The bizarre part is that you are, in fact, a complete stranger (only contact via skype or email) and you turn up and live with the family and see all of their dirty laundry! (literally). You are immediately in their circle, at the 5 year old’s birthday party, changing nappies and all that jazz. It’s a crazy concept but somehow it works. And for us, it has gone pretty well.

I believe the difference between a good au pair experience and a bad one really all comes down to the family. I know another au pair who has considered quitting because the boys that he was looking after were threatening to jump out of the window and said they would call the police if the au pair ever touched him (apparently there were ‘mummy-and-daddy-never-being-there’ issues there and the family were on their 8th nanny/au pair in 10 years). I also know another au pair that came into a family and found that the host mum became increasingly jealous of this young, bubbly girl that had come to live with her family and got on particularly well with her hubby (all harmless of course) and that didn’t bode well either. So like I say, the family makes all the difference.

being an au pair.

If asked what the hardest part for me is, it would be knowing the boundaries with the children without knowing the rules (okay, that makes no sense…). I shall explain. The kids will be at home with me and I will be telling them off for crawling on top of the couch or for screaming loudly. Then when the parents are home, I see them interacting with the children and they are quite free to crawl along the couch and are screaming their little hearts out. I find this part the hardest - knowing their rules.

A few of my favourite moments (which make it all worth it) would include splashing our faces with glitter and lipstick and making our very own rock band (i was the singer), the moment the little 3 year old came home from pre-school with bite marks on her bottom, actual bite marks (i would love to know the story of how the other kid actually bit her bum), the little boy’s impression of a dinosaur (he roars so hard that his head shakes), our head banging contest (and making videos of us doing it) and taking the kids to school when it had SNOWED (not so common here in the south of france… pure delight for the kids). Awkwardest moment was when the 9 year old asked me what “sexy bitch” means in english because she had heard it on a song on the radio (no swear words are censored here… so the kids go around singing gros mots!). One of the children is currently in the ‘poos and wees’ stage where everything to do with caca and pipi deserves a barrel of laughs apparently. The little one won’t let me leave pre-school until I’ve given her a big cuddle and bisous (kiss).  Children often don’t know how to be grateful or appreciate your help but if they know that you are there when they need you, that is what is important. And when they are happy to see you in the morning, that is always a good sign.

If you are thinking about becoming a nanny or au pair (or accepting one into your home), I think it’s a great opportunity for the children to establish a relationship with someone while mummy and daddy have work or study commitments.  I am teaching my children English and that is something they will have for the rest of their life. And of course, an open mind and a great sense of humour are pretty much compulsory.